someone else.

i don't know why i'm finding it hard not to think about her gleaming face.

take over me, please.
will she drown me in her sweetest sighs and laughter?
i swear i feel something when i look at her
yet another set of hazel eyes.

but this one's so much different, i don't know why.
clinging on to every word she's about to say.
and every single thing she's about to do.
take over me, take all of me.
she bathed me in her sweetest smiles.

so don't ask me what i'm feeling right now.
'cause even i don't know it myself.
i just find it to be the weirdest little thing that i went through.
when i ended up missing her and not you.

drowned.

a seemingly ordinary day, waiting.

waiting to implode.

a day of heavy hearts.

the clouds cried simultaneously for us.

a downpour of emotions.

they wept until we drowned in their very tears.

death is painful.

but a death of a loved one is impossible to bear.

sinking it's sharp teeth deep within my chest.

"help me, please. am i alone?"

soaked and cold in the wake of the storm.

eyes opened wide until sunshine and beyond.

unable to enter a peaceful slumber.

but the wind's still singing a lullaby for us.

there's a reason behind everything we went through.

"no. you're never alone in this world."

this is a call out to the numb.

open your eyes and ears and hearts.

time to break the shell you've been living in for so long.

we need your help.

we need each other right now.

and to the sympatetic.

thanking you is never enough.

a tear of joy is shed every second you were there for us.

two months.

the stars don't seem to shine without you.

and i still don't know how i'm getting through.

poems and lullabies seem dull to me,

without you, jumbled words are all i see.

i feel so numb now.

walking still and standing in circles.

confused. tired. cold.

this masquerade just won't cut it.

but i know it's well worth every second of waiting.
after two months, you know i'm still believing.

and don't you ever worry, baby.

i have my fingers crossed for you and me.

always.

nothingness.

staring blankly at the weaving skyline.
a drought of inspiration.
colour-blinded by your smile.

still dreaming of you.
it makes my nights more worth sleeping through.
and it hurts to wake up everyday without you.
again and again.

and i've been singing to myself just to get by.
another second.
another minute.
another hour.
another passing day.
i'm missing you.
more and more.


and i'm searching through every cloud in the sky,
for something that can compare to you.
failing miserably yet again.

everything changed since we went our separate ways.
but please know that i'll still feel the same way for you.
always.

a drought of inspiration.

weary heart.

the falling droplets of rain.
racing towards the dampened earth.
for the past few days, like my own tears.
consistent, cold.
unrelenting.

the freezing morning dew is biting.
it wraps my bones and my skin.
but it's nothing compared to the chill that i'm feeling now.
for what i've done to you, it's just what i deserve.
and i can't help feeling sorry for myself.

uncertainty is filling my lines.
confused and numb.
stuck inside your hazel eyes.

my hearts grown weary.
my mind is, too.
maybe it's from thinking too much of you.

a step at a time. :]

been planning to post on my blog yesterday but i was too busy, not to mention the *ahem* "overpopulation" issue we have here (5 people take turns using our computer, namely me, my cousin and my friends! haha :D)

hmm, so i guess today is officially my first day blogging. kinda nervous, if you ask me :]

hoping to really pour out my heart out on this blog. i'm in dire need of an outlet for all the things i think of. so here it is. my very first blog entry. fingers crossed. hands held high. and all that jazz.